I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
