There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
