we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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