its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
