We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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