why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
