so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
