her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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