ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just want to make out with him forever
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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