There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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