Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
