You smell like stripper and shame
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
