I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
