haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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