dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
