It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm bleeding and have questions
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
