I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
