why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Is Oprah even human
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
