I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
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