I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
