so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
