Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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