I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
