someone get that fucking seahorse.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
