you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's blow job season.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
