You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Randomize
