Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
