fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
