I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
