"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
