I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
