yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
