Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
