you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize