Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
