The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize