Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Randomize
