fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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