I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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