just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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