so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
