I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
