You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize