We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize