But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
