And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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