he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
