Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
