The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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