other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
