Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i wish my penis had a tongue
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize