Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
