super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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