2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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