So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Less talking, more tequila
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
