Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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