wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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