when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize