Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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