airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
