Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
