Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
