some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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