At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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