i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
